Sunday, April 17, 2011

Windows are rolled down.

It's fun, you know, to look at your past and say, "Now I know why that happened! " It's not so fun, though, when you're in the middle of not knowing, wandering aimlessly for what feels like forever, trying to figure out what's next. I was on the brink of quitting my job in Aurora with SunHealthcare Group all together because between the drive and the population I was serving there was miserable. I felt like I was wandering aimlessly just trying to make it through another week, wondering what was next (there HAD to be something better). Then, another speech therapist at Bear Creek put in her 2 weeks, and viola! An opportunity to move back to where I first began my life as an SLP, almost a year and a half later - and I jumped on that chance. So, as the plan stands right now, I'm back at Bear Creek (about a 9 min drive from my front door) until something better comes along. I don't quite know what purpose I served driving to Aurora everyday, but I do hope that I can discover an "ah ha!" moment in the near future so that my time there doesn't seem in vain (which I feel like right now). 

So, the title of this post is a song that I posted a few weeks (months, maybe?) back and it has gathered some meaning in my life right at this moment. I do feel like the proverbial windows are rolled down in my life, and for the first time in a while I feel fresh air. A new chance, a new chapter in our lives here in Denver. Or maybe Golden....?  Mike is driving to Golden everyday and then taking the bus up to Boulder. It's free. It's easy, but it is time consuming. Yes, the Golden, CO that the massive Coors Brewery resides. But beyond that, Golden is quite charming, has a great downtown, is in a good location for our jobs, and has some affordable housing. We are having quite the marital debate of rent/buy but the area we both agree on, SCORE one for meeting in the middle. We thought we'd be moved out of our house by summer camp, but that may not happen, which is fine. We are certainly not going to move for the sake of moving......we'd be crazy. 


So, as for now I am awaiting my dream job - a hospital position (inpt or outpt, at this point I'd do either). There are certainly plenty of hospitals in Denver metro, but finding one on the west side of town that will hire a fairly new SLP is different. I've discovered here that SLPs in the hospitals are pretty experienced and FAITHFUL. They don't leave, therefore those jobs don't open up, and when they do the competition is pretty fierce. My gameplan is to work for Bear and try to get a PRN weekend position in a hospital close and then work my way in the system with that hospital. I've had several contacts with hospitals and filled out a couple applications, but nothing has worked out. I'm waiting to hear back from a potential PRN next week. My point is, I'm content where I am now and even if I have to work there through the summer.....I'm not spending 1 1/2 hrs on the road commuting.  YAY! You don't realize what a burden driving is until you don't have to do it much. Plus, I'm considering really buying a bike this time because there is a path that goes to downtown Morrison without getting on a major highway. Mike needs a bike, too. We do live in Colorado, I'm pretty sure everyone has a bike but us.

I will conclude with a pretty funny video of Josh and Beth Graham's dog named Monty. We love them and were happy they came to visit. Next up on our list? A trip HOME! We are going home for a wedding Derby Weekend and a quick visit with the family. Then Mike gets sucked into summer camp and we'll see ya in August. His schedule is actually not that bad this year 10 days on and 5 days off..... I'll take it!



I love you, Love Wins!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Picture Post Sunday

It's picture post time! I haven't posted in a while and don't have much time tonight, but I really wanted to catch up on life so far this early spring. Plus, I want to have at least 4 blogs this month, so I better start early. 


 Mike and I spent 3 days in Avon and skied Vail/Beaver Creek. It was beautiful, one day was sunny and we forgot the sunscreen (bet you can guess what happened to our faces, and imagine that awesome ski goggle line), and the other 2 days consisted of snowy bliss. Awesome.








 Robert Randolph and the Family Band just happened to be playing at this stage in Vail that was ON the ski slope. We love this band - and it was free!










 These pictures are of our friends Rick and Suzi at the UK Basketball game. This bar in Denver was the UK Alumni Association of Colorado, and it was aahhh-mazing. We're holding up a Fayette Co license plate, thankful UK made it to the Final 4.



 Mike and I went to opening day and bought a ticket off a lady who just wanted to "party". It worked out well for us, and another suntan happened.

























Our friends from Louisville, Josh and Beth Graham, came to visit us for a week! We are so blessed to have such amazing friends......it is nice being in a place where people want to visit. We went to the dog park, got snowed out of a Rockies game, went to church, ate ice cream, and visited several breweries. It has been a great several weeks with lots of fun things to come in the future. We're visiting My Old Kentucky Home in 4 weeks and have started planning our summer concert schedule. More to come, soon!  Love you!









Saturday, March 12, 2011

Holy, Manna!

Today, I have:

 1. Studied the anatomical and physiological workings of your swallow mechanism in order to succeed at a continuing education class I'm taking this coming weekend called: Vital Stim. Placing electrodes on your throat and turning that baby on. Sounds lovely, right? I'm sure I'll find out.
2. Watched UK beat the dog doo doo out of Alabama.
3. Ran 5 miles in 45 minutes.
4. Enjoyed an Ale-8 and caught up on blogs that I normally read on a regular basis.

I consider it pretty successful. Last night we met with our friends Rick and Suzi and the night before experienced a Brazilian steakhouse (I have never felt so gluttonous). It's been a good week.

I've had several interviews for jobs, but nothing has worked out thus far. I've been looking for almost 2 months now and truly thought that I would be in a new place of work by now. There has been a lot of discussion in our church/community groups about what "satisfies" you. Is it money? Respect in your career (I'm in this group, partially)? But for me, I struggle with the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. This has been discussed and analyzed probably way to much, but it's such a pressing issue that I can't let it go. But the Lord has a way of speaking to us, and this time His Word was clear.

As a new years resolution I wanted to read through the Bible. I have done this once before, but I'm in a completely different place now than I was when I read through it the first time (as I will next year). And as I'm struggling my way through Leviticus and Numbers, so were the Israelites. Moses has lead them out of Egypt, through the Red Sea and into the desert. From slavery to freedom. From real meat and wine to - you guessed it - MANNA. After a while, the Israelites start to, complain....which made me feel quite human. The Israelites, who have had the supernatural free them, been provided food, protection, and a purpose are, complaining? Hum. So this idea of never being satisfied is not a new idea. Great.

It's clear that God wants to protect them. He sends manna down that lands on the grass like dew. It is new every morning - but don't gather more than you need. Of course, the greedy and worried Israelites found that out the hard way when they tried to hoard manna and it turned into maggots. Gross. As if providing daily bread and water wasn't enough, God also did this:

"On the day the tabernacle, the Tent of the Testimony, was set up the cloud covered it. From evening till morning the cloud above the tabernacle looked like fire. That is how it continued to be; the cloud covered it and at night it looked like fire. Whenever the cloud lifted from above the Tent, the Israelites set out; wherever the cloud settled the Israelites encamped...........They obeyed the Lord's order, in accordance with his command through Moses." Numbers 9:15-18

Can't make it any more clear than that, right? I mean, when the cloud stays, you stay; when it moves, you move. God, can I have a cloud above my house? One that allows my heart to truly be content with where I am until you ask our family to move. However, would something so concrete be....almost easy? It wouldn't require faith, trust, mercy, and forgiveness. It would almost leave out the multi-dimensional and multi-faceted characteristics of our God. For pity's sake, the Israelites had this concrete nature of the Lord in their hands, and they STILL weren't satisfied. Oh boy, I'm doomed. Here's what they said:

"The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again, the Israelites started wailing and said, ' If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost - also the cucumber, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!" Numbers 11:4-5

HOLY, MANNA! We're tired of eating this crap - give us MEAT! God, if only I had a job that was satisfying, challenging, flexible, close to my house. And speaking of houses, could you finds us a good one that had a pretty good backyard, but close enough to a bus stop where Mike could ride up to Boulder. And I need more friends, my family closer, and to be about 10 lbs lighter. THEN, I'll be satisfied. Right. And by then, the manna will have turned into maggots.

Do you get where I'm going????? So, what's your I'll be satisfied when ____________ ? Ultimately, the joy that comes from our God is the ONLY thing that can satisfy. So, may God reveal those things in your life that you are idolizing and using to make you "happy". And then, may He transform your mind and body to only desire Him. To find true satisfaction and joy in His presence. I'm trying, but I'm also encouraged through this text.

Be encouraged. Chris Tomlin has a song that fits this idea, and I love it.



love wins. love you.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

The Byrds, the bees, and me?

 A warning before reading this blog 
1. I do not deem myself as one whose ministry is preaching.  
2. My life has been transformed by what I'm about to share.
3. I want to share it with you, but it may be long and I might sound, ack! preachy! 
4. Hang in there, it'll be worth it. Thanks to Pastor Brian for sharing it with me in a time when I desperately needed it. 

For the past 3 weeks, the pastor at my church has brought us through the first few chapters of Ecclesiastes. If you're like me, the only thing you knew about the book of Ecclesiastes was....well.... nothing. Oh, yes - wait! I do remember something slightly about, "to every thing, turn, turn, turn.. there is a season turn, turn, turn....and a time to every purpose - under heaven". Are you singing yet? The only thing I remember about a book in the Bible is - ta da - a song written in the '60s? I'm sure the Lord LOVES that. I am quite the hippie, now. Don't count me out of much. 


We have been using the sermon on Sundays as a guideline to discuss more in-depth questions on Wednesday nights in our community groups. Here are the verses we read on Sunday: 

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-15 

A Time for Everything

3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

The God-Given Task

What gain has the worker from his toil? 10 I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 12 I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; 13 also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
14 I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. 15 That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.

 I challenge you to not skim over these next paragraphs. Take the time to read, chew, and process the seriousness of what God is trying to tell us. This idea has changed my way of thinking recently, for the good. 

The Byrds almost ruined this text. They turned a driving & difficult text into a little ditty associated with Forest Gump and the sweeping pluralism of the 1960s. The times Solomon reminds us of in this text are not about simple seasons in our lives, rather Solomon's point is to follow on from his conclusions in Chapter 2, to describe the providence of God in all the events in our lives. He lists 14 pairs of situation and attributes them to the sovereign purposes of God. He has ordained their times, starting with the time we were and the time we die. This is devastating to our sense of autonomy and it builds on Solomon's confession in Chapter 2, that the enjoyment of our toil as well as our eating and drinking is a gift from God. 

We shouldn't think for a minute that Solomon envisions a capricious or arbitrary God. He tells us that God's ways are inscrutable, but they are purposeful ("He makes all things beautiful in its time").  He sovereignty is total, and it guided by a good purpose. His purpose is to be known, obeyed, trusted and loved. This is the great beauty God intends of us. Solomon ends by commending to us that this sovereignty serves as the basis for Christan contentment. Because he is sovereign, because our circumstances are guided by a purposeful good God, joy is made possible. This may seem surprising after 2 chapters of vapor. But this is Solomon's preliminary conclusion. God reign, so enjoy your short and vaporous life. 

 Okay, there is bad news and good news here. Which do you want to hear first? I'd always go for the bad news (And believe me, the good news is REALLY good. I've got you in suspense, don't I?), so here it is: 


  Your life is vain. Plain and simple. Society tells us that everything under the sun matters, right? I mean, if you just get that right promotion, marry the right person, buy perfect house, have the perfect child - everything will be okay. If we just drink the right wine (ha! that makes us seem smarter, doesn't it), fill our lives with the pleasures of the world, consider ourselves wise - then surely this will make life seem satisfactory. Surely! We search for things that we think are going to make a name for us in this world. Something that will set us apart from one another. But, the truth is that we live in a cycle. We live, we die. The same things re-occur over, and over, and over again. Nothing is new. And we will die. Every part of our lives that we lived for, gone. Depressing, right? 


I had to stop and ask myself this question, " What are you looking at to provide lasting happiness??"  


At this point, you should be asking yourself, "Get to the point. I want the good news". That was totally me.  I longed for that life application where I could dig myself out of such a self-serving hole I had dug and was absolutely stuck in. *See previous blog where I talked about my funk* 


The good news - JOY! What gain does a worker have for his toil? Solomon tells us to find JOY in our toil (AKA those things that we deal with on a daily basis). Eat, Drink, and take JOY in your toil. Celebrate your daily life because in the end it doesn't matter. All that matters is holding onto that rock that you can feel, but can't see because of the vapor in your life. Solomon wants us to see 3 things: 


 1. Your life has a purpose.
 2. Your life cannot be seen from beginning to end. God has put eternity in man's heart that makes us groan for something solid. 
 3. Nothing can be taken or added from what He wants to do. God's purposes are beautiful and you can't see how the dots connect for a reason...however, know that his purposes are unstoppable and beautiful. 


So, whatever vapor you may find yourself in  (anxiety, fear, depression, etc.), God is chasing you. It is only in this realization that you can say there is nothing better than to be joyful - to see life through your toil. To look back on it and, laugh, maybe? To be JOYFUL and surpass that circumstantial happiness, understanding to the fullest degree that life is a mere vapor in the wind. 


I pray that this message will take ahold of you and change your life. I have been so worried about what is next in our life. If I'm preaching, I'm totally preaching to myself. So, there you have it. 


And here are some pictures of what my vaporous life has been like today: 


This was the view outside our door for the majority of the day today - what is a woman to do? 




Wrigley knew what to do, play outside in the snow! 








These pots were filled with orchids that needed to be re potted and replanted. The pots had no holes in them and the plants were in plastic pots that were not at all the right environment. I went to home depot and bought supplies..... 




And voila! After cutting the rotted roots and giving the orchid new soil and a new pot with air holes on the sides - hopefully my orchids will send up a new shoot pretty soon so that I can enjoy beautiful bloom this spring! This is the most healthy of the 2.....my other one was pretty sick looking.


Here is the 2nd orchid that was much more sickly. It's growing a new leaf and hopefully it will be happier in this new pot.





So then, my Nook and I spent about 100 pages together reading about a girl with a dragon tattoo, which was quite entertaining!


All in all, my Saturday was quite vaporous and beautiful. I'm no long searching for the next best thing (at least, I'm trying not to), and focusing on my daily life, not focusing on the future in which I'm trying to force that would "make my life better."


I love you, love wins!


Sunday, January 30, 2011

You're so vain.

Chaco slowly walks toward the couch. She knows that dad isn't home and that mom has out the magical zebra blanket. Of course, this could only mean one thing. A nap. YES! She places both front legs onto the couch, slow and methodical (as if I don't see the 65lb dog crawling up in my lap). She has a troubling time hiking her back legs up to the couch, jumping just isn't an option today. Once she's up, she take the usual position - on the side closest to the back pillows (of course) with her nose stuck directly into my armpit. Her body lengthens as her snout is lodged into my left armpit. Slowly, she digs her head so that her entire skull is plummeted underneath the blanket. She sighs. I sigh. I slowly come to terms with the fact that my nap won't be quite as comfortable as planned - Chaco is snoring. Her breathing patterns become soothing and soon I drift off myself. 


Tonight, in church, we sang a hymn that was quite familiar to me. "Rock of Ages", heard of it? As I sang the first verse, my dog - of all THINGS, right? - popped into my mind: 


Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in thee
Let the water and the blood 
From thy wounded side which flowed. 


I had a visual of Chaco literally shoving her nose into my armpit and then taking a big sigh. Oh, how we do the same to our Lord. Let me hide myself in thee. I'm tired, Lord. I'm doubting, Lord. I need rest, Lord. Let me hide myself in thee. I'm anxious, Lord. Let me hide myself in thee. My hope is that you do the same. Allow yourself to become so close to the Lord during those valleys that you can hide in his arms (I suggest not thinking about his armpit, could be a little strange). Our lives are but a vapor. A chasing after the wind, so when those doubting times come into your life, realize that the only rock that you need to hold onto is Christ. 


I haven't written in quite a long time because my heart has been dealing with stuff (for a lack of a better word) and writing about it just seemed like it would open a wound that needed to heal. So I strayed away. Christmas passed, New Years, and my birthday. Three very important events that one would deem worthy of blogging. I struggled to find the words to express what was in my heart, so I pushed it aside. BUT! Hallelujah! I'm coming out of this funk. A funk of all funks that was brutal and self-serving. Have you ever caught yourself so involved in, well, you, that nothing else matters? I've had to truly pray that the Lord would place serving opportunities into my life so that I had to focus on others. Focusing on your own junk - It's horrible. Time consuming and dreadfully painful. But, the Lord says that our lives are all vanity. Nothing - not pleasures, careers, wine, or even wisdom (and Solomon was a wise man) - will make your life seem satisfactory. Something is always missing. Only God will bring you that joy that surpasses circumstantial happiness. Joy that lasts through hardships and pain. Joy that gives one hope. How incredibly uplifting, and Lord knows we all need some uplifting.


Mike has his bus route planned for in the morning. A new job! An opportunity to build new relationships, develop new skills, change the lives of kiddos. I am so excited for him and for our family. After months of drought, it finally rained! I'm praying this is a job that Mike can see himself working at for a while - may we grow some roots here and surround ourselves in our community. Yay! Good jobs!


My good friend, Abby, came to visit last weekend. We went snowshoeing - here's a quick video of our dogs bounding in the snow.

















I could probably go on forever, but, I do have to work tomorrow. I'll cover my work situation in the next blog. This song has been playing in my head over and over; may it provide the same peace for you as it does for me. Until next time, Love Wins!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

good times, good times.

I have had a rather exciting week! I actually worked an 8hr day on Monday and to my surprise, worked 8 hrs Tuesday, too. Wednesday I worked 4hrs at Sable and then 4hrs at Bear Creek. Holy Cow! I was on my way to working my first 40hr week since July, probably. Wed night our community group met and ate a lovely dinner together. Thursday, Mike and I went to the 1st Bank Center in Broomfield, CO to see Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds do an acoustic performance. It was a small, random venue but pretty intimate and the entire show was amazing. 



Friday was rough, as we got home late, but after a short nap I was ready to enjoy some awesome Mexican food at a small restaurant. A coupon for buy one get one free entree made our bill super cheap and the strawberry margarita was delicious. We slept in this morning and after some cleaning, we went to Kohl's to do some Christmas shopping (who doesn't love the deals you get at Kohl's?). We bought a few gifts, then came home to do the rest of our shopping online. We shipped all of our gifts to either Louisville or Winchester that way our car won't be extremely packed in 2 WEEKS when we drive home for Christmas. I heard this new Amos Lee song on the radio this week and immediately fell in love with it. Any anxiety I have had recently about life, this song seems to melt away. I've found a version of it that Amos played at Farm Aid this year:




I am now waiting for our Zuchinni Lasagna to finish baking in the oven, ah! there's the timer now! Yummy. Then we'll probably watch a movie or take it easy for the night. Tomorrow, more doing of nothing, then church. I've been trying to run on a more regualr basis and one of my new year's resolutions is going to be running in a Mini-Marathon. Sounds like fun, right? 


The Lord is faithful - I know this - but sometimes when you are in the midst of a valley it's hard to see beyond what's right in front of you. This is how I feel about Mike's job situation. Resume after resume I wonder if this is the one.....then.....nothing. I am so ready for this season of our life to be over and move on. I'm ready to look back on this time and see the Lord's hand throughout the "no's" and closed doors. I'm ready to not drive 45 min to work and be placed in a facility that is more challenging to my clinical skills. I'm ready to move on. But, until then ... I will continue to be patient and live each day as it comes. Love you, love wins!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Where's the snow?

So, by this time last year, Mike and I had to shovel the driveway at least 5 times, this year? Not even 1 inch of snow. How ironic that my Old Kentucky Home has had snow when 5,280 feet in elevation hasn't had a dusting...? I'm confused, but not complaining. I'm sure that by the time the week before Christmas rolls around (right when we are getting ready to leave for KY) there will be a blizzard, it's just our luck.

Last night, Mike and I went to the Parade of Lights with our friends Lee and Tanya in Downtown Denver. The beginning of the night was surprisingly warm - then the cold set in and I was thankful I decided to put on the long johns. Between 2 nights, the parade hosts 400,000 people! It was well worth it...being involved in the community you live in is so important. Knowing your neighbors, loving your neighbors, that sort of thing. Our church views community as vital to the growth and development of the people within the church. Thus, meeting in community groups in homes of people in the community seems only natural.


Rudolph! That means Santa's a'comin!! And somehow, I missed Santa. Oh well, I think y'all know what he looks like.















And this is what Chaco and I do after a long, busy day....nap!


So, nothing too exciting. Mike and I are planning on skiing next weekend, if the snow decides to grace us. Work is the same...I am becoming increasingly restless in my job. Hopefully there will be an end in sight, soon. Keep praying for a job for Mike....it would be a nice Christmas present.

Love you, Love wins!


I leave you with a vaulting performance of a USA vaulter....take the time to watch it, pretty amazing.