Who is MTV kidding anyway? I am not a regular viewer of The Real World (only when they were in Denver working with Outward Bound, thought that was pretty kick ass), but every time I turn it on, I think to myself, "That's a terrible name for a show." I think it should be called, "The UNreal World" (pretty clever, I know). And now that I have been drop-kicked into "the real world" I resent the show even more. I thought my job would be easy..working 8-5 Mon-Fri would be no big deal. I mean really people, I went through 6 years of school working my buns off while juggling my friendships, boyfriend/fiance/husband, planning a wedding, working as a GA, running, entertaining my dogs, and being domestic. Not to mention hours of homework and free labor.
But nothing, nothing compares to the exhaustion I feel right now. I am so overwhelmed at work with the incredible amount of paper work, new faces and residents to learn, adapting and building my clinical skills, etc. etc. It is so very draining. Someone please tell me that you get used to such a schedule. And, I find myself thinking about doing this for the rest of my life. Yikes. YIKES people! I thought that I loved what I did, but can I really make it work for 35 years? That's another topic to address I suppose....for another day and time.
But anyway, my point is that I am coming face to face with my real world...and I am scared. Scared all the passion I developed in Graduate School will slowly deplete and I'll have nothing left to give. So, if MTV really wants to present their reality TV show as such, that's fine. But I'm telling you (or me, really) that the real Real World does not have flashy cameras, cute boys, and lots of alcohol. It's full of hard work and determination....but most of all.....it's doing what you love. And I hope that can carry me through. I need advice. Support. Help!
Oh cousin, I so feel for you! Talk to Stu, he was right there eight years ago this month. But there are lots of prayers and hugs from here as we KNOW just how you feel. I'll have him email you and give you some advice. Love to you both!
ReplyDeleteLet's see...First, you WILL get used to your schedule just like you got used to your hectic graduate school schedule. And the benefit of a "real job" is that you get to leave it at 5:00. No studying, no meetings, no nothing. Once it's done, it's done and you're free to relax and do things that you enjoy.
ReplyDeleteWhich brings me to number two, which is to cultivate a whole host of things that you like to do, which you probably haven't had a chance to do since your life revolved around school for so long. When I got my first real job I taught myself HTML, read fiction voraciously, cross-stitched, etc. I loved having time to do all of those things.
Third, remember that you are not defined by your work. Work to live; don't live to work. By all means you should be passionate and excited by your work, but never look to your work to provide all of your pleasure and happiness.
Fourth, you gotta stop with the notion that this will be your life's work for 35 years. Remember in your last post when you talked about living one day at a time? Start there. Not 35 years down the road. Your life will change. You may find new passions. You may make new goals for yourself. Just enjoy what you're doing right now and let tomorrow take care of yourself. Your starting one of the most amazing adventures ever. Let it be that--an adventure.
You're doing great, Lynsey. Give yourself a break, let yourself be tired, find things you enjoy, and RELAX!
It will just take some getting used to. Every time you make a change like this, you have to get used to it. Sure you're not going to know anyone, but that is the point of moving and starting a new life. You will get to know the people you work with and you will become great friends! Who said that moving across the country and starting a job where you don't know anyone would be easy? Yeah, no one said that. You just have to take it day by day and hope that you get used to this job and doing what you love. You know you love what you are doing and heck, you'll probably be doing it for the next 40 years because it is what you love! You did not spend 2 horrible years at MU to not do what you love!
ReplyDeleteLynsey,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog link on one of your facebook updates/posts. This post begged me to respond - I don't think I was aware of how exhausting it is going to work until my daughter graduated and also had to step into the "real world." It's going to take about 3 months - at least that's what it took for her and a couple of others I've heard from - to get past this "exhaustion because I'm new at my job" feeling - it will fly by. Of course, you would probably expect me to say this - but keep writing (here or elsewhere - I keep a blog - sorely neglected since I've been in school - and a paper journal). Writing will help you get through anything because getting something out of your head and onto paper (or screen) lets you look at what it really is - not what it's grown to be in your head!